I've got two evolving narratives on the go - one the solo piece to debut in Montreal in late January, and another is a new idea based in an old concept (something which I might have wanted to explore a little while ago, but didn't have the strength or inclination to fully do so (or the wisdom combined with the knowledge along with the body...) Suddenly I do, and I have a willing partner (which absolutely does help, when it comes to the pursuit of this idea - it's good to know that there's someone saying 'Yeah, I'd love to do this...') It's rooted in jazz narrative, and it's linear, and it's two lovers in dialogue, in between kisses and the potential for fucking (I love either crossing lines, or dancing upon them) Either way, I look at the calendar this early grey afternoon and I realize that I'm giving notice to my practical job (a few weeks from now, it will be time to stop) so that I can return to Montreal, perform my show (and see what happens, eh?) I'm glad at this moment, and perfectly fine with how long it took to get there. I'm glad that even though I do love my job, that I'm leaving it again (I left it before to go to Montreal, and things worked out perfectly fine, but I wasn't the man I am now when I did previously, and the man now is far more wilder, and far more precise) I am thinking then that it matters to just look at the next few weeks as a continual stripping down (I've already let a few people go in my life, while inviting others in, and that will be the trend) Maybe I won't talk as much, and just work even more, but if you're choosing a time to do such a thing in a year, late November into all of December seems spiritually correct. Soon, it will be a new year. Soon I will have even more money and resources to put on one hell of a show. Soon I will have even more of a downpayment on a studio space. Do I play the role of the therapist, or do I become the dancer? (You know what the answer to that one is) A man is a reflection of his space, and mine is spartan, with all things put away, with plenty of room to move, and plenty of dancewear to wear out, so it's time to say less (well, not here) and do more.
So here we are.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
So much has changed since I last wrote two months ago, and now that I have survived all levels of cancer and injury, I suddenly woke up clean and empty and so full with desire and wild intent, and though words are such a powerful thing, I suddenly saw my body again in aftermath and realized that I have plenty I can give with it without saying a word, and that the daring thing would be to do so, and to not necessarily forget the past when it comes to longing and desire, but to simply just be physical with a laugh and a wink, and forget yesterday, and just be in the now, because the now is so delicious and sweet to taste, I simply want it more in my mouth right now.