Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I am feeling desire on several levels, in so many situations or places. It's like everything now drips with want, and I don't know if it is because I am finally settling into my skin, and taking progressive action, or if it's simply time for pleasure. All I know is that I am walking around hard, and it shows in my eye contact, and the motion of my body, and I think I will absolutely enjoy my upcoming trip to Montreal, merely so that I can be around more people who seem to appreciate something far more open and sexual (really, Toronto for all it's beauty, and beautiful people, still has that classical air of repression) I was catching people staring at me yesterday, on the streets, and on the train, and everytime I returned a gaze a pattern would develop, where they would look away, or look up and around, but eventually back again (my gaze never wavered - I stayed staring, and you could tell there was intent in my eyes, no doubt) A feeling like this only inspires wanting it more, and doing more to have it, and I find that the more that I take care of my body and heart, the more I feel like devouring, whether it's in eye contact, or my mouth somewhere appropriate (really, if some of you opened your legs, I'd stay there for days, because what is better than dance and sex?) I was picking up supplies for my show (Hello American Apparel Underwear) and realized that it's no longer a show, but that this is my music. I play pieces with words and the body, and this is not a formal theatrical presentation (even in your room, it doesn't have that formality) It's just a guy on a bed doing physical monologues, and laughing with the audience in between set pieces, and indulging in improvisations around the standard notes. It's jazz music, and jazz is what started all this madness years ago. I came back home, essentially. It's Coltrane. But the instrument is my body, and my mouth, and I think I speak both of the show, and the want I have for you (and for you, and for you, and for you...)

You should let me play you, darling.