Monday, August 10, 2009

Delayed Gratification?

The show is ready, but I will not be performing it just yet. The Nuit Blanche show is now the priority. I am not worried about 'losing it' because the narrative is intact, and it's ready to go, and I always have said that it's just a matter of the body evolving to the point of being able to pull it off. Well, the preparation for Nuit Blanche will be more than enough to make me ready for what is to come in October. For now, all I have to focus on is being physical, since the narrative that is evolving for NB is relying upon a structured improvisation (with a little cosmetic adjustment?) It means I'm not worried about scripting, or the finer details, or over-preparation. All NB requires for this installation is a beginning, middle, and end (and me and my dancers will attend to the rest) Anyways, at this point, I required a little something more simple - if I'm just working at my job, continuing to organize for the 3rd of October, and just getting physical, I'll be a happy man. Besides, the crux of Arrogant Little Fuck has to be about someone who is justified in his behaviour, and though I'm close when it comes to the body, and what it can do, I am simply not there yet. Yes yes, I know this is a show that has yet to get off of the ground, but what I'm doing at NB is a natural lead-in, and isn't it more about being led by the process, and not the possibility of the end result? Would I have wandered into The Green Room that day, and have encountered Benjamin, without my show? I seriously doubt it (in the most tangible sense, the reason why I had that rare day off on that day, was exactly because I needed time to work upon the narrative, and two hours later, here we are) If anything, I'm bending to the wind. I'm surrendering to the immediate, and to the now, and trusting that upon the 4th of October, when I'm four days into what I plan to be a three week vacation, I'll be boarding a train to Montreal to inhabit a studio space for a couple of weeks, and doing what it is that I set out to do a long time ago, and that's take the material that was, and turn it into something new. So for now, all I am going to do is focus on the physical, and prepare myself, and the rest of my group, for what I know will be one wild night in the history of Toronto art.

I can wait for you.